10 Things Every Pageant Girl Does At The Gym
By Talisha White
1. Puts on a full face
We know, we know, it’s just a workout and it’s not being judged or anything, but it’s TOTALLY being judged. For a 6 a.m. workout session with your personal trainer, you get up around four for hair and makeup. You put your hair in a perfectly messy bun if it’s cardio day or a beautiful ponytail for any other day. Bonus if you add extensions.
Don’t forget the “no makeup” look, which includes filling in your eyebrows, putting on your falsies, putting on foundation and just a touch of highlighter so you look like you’re “glowing” and not sweating. (Read: Should You Wear Makeup to the Gym?)
2. Takes a million and one workout photos
Average girls take gym selfies, pageant girls take perfectly posed photos of them lifting weights, on the rowing machine, or performing any other type of physical activity. There was a reason for waking up two hours early; it was for Insta-worthy photos to show how dedicated to the crown you are.
3. Contemplates life decisions
While going into your third rep on leg day, and your legs begin to feel like spaghetti, you begin to contemplate your decisions in life. Is this really worth it? Do I have to really work out this hard? Do I really need this title I’m competing for?
This unwavering shadow of doubt comes over you and, for a second, you are completely over everything.
4. Goes into beast mode
After dying and being resuscitated eight times in the last five minutes and contemplating your very existence, something suddenly clicks. A second wind comes along, and you go into beast mode. To look like a beauty, you have to train like a beast!
5. Coordinates gym clothes
Fitness wear is sometimes an area of competition, so while you may not intentionally try to have the most fashion-forward workout outfit, you most definitely do. Even when you are not working out around other pageant girls. Let’s be real, no one pulls off matching shoes, shorts and sports bra quite like a pageant girl. (Read: What to Wear to the Gym During Pageant Week)
6. Squats like nobody’s business
If you’re not secretly doing a million squats a day just so you don’t look like you’re wearing a saggy diaper during swimsuit competition, are you even really a pageant girl? Bonus points if you cannot walk up stairs the following day.
7. Gets fed up with her hair
Look here hair, I put you in a messy bun. Stay out of my face, stay out of my way, or we will have a serious problem.
8. Feels like an Oompa Loompa
It’s so frustrating when you’ve been working out for a whole hour and a half and you still don’t have abs like Miss Universe. What type of trickery is this?!?! (Read: What it Takes to Have Amazing Abs Like a Miss USA Titleholder)
9. Feels like Miss Universe
After working out for an entire hour, or an entire month realistically, you look in the mirror and think, “Yep, I’m totally winning Miss Universe. Just look at my abs. Look at my butt! I look good, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
10. Tells all the gym employees you’re Miss (Insert title here)
If you’re not promoting your title, even at the gym, could you really consider yourself a good titleholder? If you haven’t told all of the gym staff that you’re Miss Local/State/National, and now “Miss Local/State/National trains here” is a selling point, you’re not living the dream! It’s not bragging, it’s the truth!
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